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Sex is like skiing

No, I'm not referring to the rush you get when flying down the hill or the heavy breathing from exercising at altitude, I'm talking about how actually getting on the slopes takes work and motivation but once you get there you usually enjoy it.

Let's face it, over time and with age (and frankly it's human nature) we become less enamored with doing anything that takes significant effort. Exercise is a great example in general, but in my case, skiing is something that I have had a love-hate relationship with. Unbeknownst to me, I was subjected to the "Telluride Test" by my then boyfriend, who despite this secret test is my one and only husband. The test was administered under the guise of being invited to join him and his friends for a ski weekend. Apparently, if I couldn't ski or wasn't willing to try I was going to get dumped. Although I wanted to spend time with him, making the weekend happen was somewhat of a chore. At that time I rarely skied so I had to borrow ski clothes, rent skis, and fly by myself to meet him. I arrived late in the day and the next morning I still had a terrible headache from the altitude. This combined with the temperature in the single digits was really a deterrent from going skiing, but my then boyfriend was very persuasive. Needless to say, it was a great day skiing, and despite all the hurdles I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Where am I going with this? Here goes the analogy: at some point in our lives (and I am envious of those of you who are the exception) most of us view sex like skiing---somewhat of a chore but usually in the end glad we did it. It's definitely easier and a lot less work to just roll over and go to sleep than have sex, and without someone motivating us that would likely happen the majority of the time. But even with a motivated partner, getting in the mood to "ski" can be difficult. What can women do to get motivated to have sex? Basically, the same things you do to get motivated to ski.

  1. Stay conditioned. Sex and skiing are easier when you stay conditioned. Practicing a sport on a regular basis not only makes you better, but it often reduces your risk of injury. It's also beneficial to stay "conditioned" for your sexual wellness. For instance, if you haven't been exercising at all and you get on the slopes, chances are you will feel stiff, tire out easily, and possibly even hurt yourself. If a woman hasn't been sexually active for a while, and especially if she is menopausal and not taking hormones, chances are sex won't feel good and possibly even hurt. Regular sexual activity, either by yourself or with a partner, is the best way of treating and preventing dyspareunia (pain with intercourse). Sexual activity increases vaginal blood flow which helps keep the vaginal tissue healthy and maintain elasticity.

  2. Get the right equipment. One of the reasons I used to dread skiing was that I hated being cold. When I finally got a really good ski jacket and well-fitting goggles, I actually started enjoying skiing, even during a snowstorm. If you dread sexual activity because of pain or vaginal dryness, then get the right equipment. For dryness, keep a lubricant on your nightstand (hint: GLISSANT). If you have pain then get a lubricant with CBD (hint: GLISSANT). You might even try a CBD tincture or gummies. Other equipment to consider: candles, music, super soft sheets.

  3. Plan your trip. With work, kids, and all of life's responsibilities, spontaneous sex is pretty much nonexistent. There's nothing wrong with planning to have sex. If people plan date nights, why not plan sex nights? Text your partner in the morning so that you can both plan your evening around turning in early, or making one (or two, or three) night a week your designated "really make an effort to do it" night.

  4. Make apres ski plans. Near the end of a hard day skiing, I look forward to sitting in front of the fire with a glass of wine followed by soaking in a hot tub. You can make your own apres sex plan so that you have something else to look forward to after the main event. One idea is to draw a bath just before sex so it's ready and waiting for you afterward--maybe even two glasses of wine.

After almost 25 years of skiing with my husband, I still enjoy it. Although I need motivation sometimes, I can honestly say that every time I do it I am happy that I did.


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